10) Considers reading "The Hardy Boys Mysteries" actually helpful reasearch.

9) He has a pet basset hound named "Flash" that acts as his trusty assistant.

8) His best disguise is wearing a hat.

7) Calls The Larry Flynt DC Sex Hotline for stalking tips.

6) Keeps getting confused and follows you all the time.

5) Keeps asking you if you want to see why he's called a private "dick".

4) Keeps trying to convince you that's your wife in that video with Tommy Lee.

3) Won't read any messages without his trusty decoder ring.

2) Dresses up like Jessica Fletcher from "Murder She Wrote" when he thinks he's caught the suspect.