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The Top 10 Ways To Kill A Hamster

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Writer's note: Remember kids, the Top 10 guy just compiles these lists and does not recommend that you try any of this stuff at home. Besides, if these lists were taken literally, I would be dating a Spice Girl right now.

10) Sharpen it in a pencil sharpener...use as a tack.

9) Punt it.

8) Stick a cord in its mouth and use it as your computer mouse.

7) Since its your first hamster, bronze it.

6) Tape it to the wall and then paint over it.

5) Make it watch anything on the WB repeatedly.

4) Staple it to the ceiling fan...set on high for 24 hours.

3) Place cheese inside of a leaf blower...set on turbo launch once inside.

2) Place it in a roomful of starving cats.

1) You knew, since this is the Funny Bone, that this would be used...Feed Richard Gere a week's worth of beans!

Thanks to Robert/Alice for the Topic and BPATT for the list

Submitted: Thu Feb 11 1:52:02 1999

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