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Writer's note: Women are always asking what us guys are thinking...thanks to your helpful Top 10 guy, you ladies will be more informed but probably didn't want to know this.

10) "Who is this next to me?"

9) "And why is she naked?"

8) "I wonder how many sick days I have left that I can use?"

7) "How did I end up in jail?"

6) "You know, Oprah was right about men not being sensative enough."

5) "If she doesn't quit snoring, I will strangle her."

4) "You know..a threesome with Jennie McCarthy and Christina Applegate could happen to me someday."

3) "What am I doing in a bathtub in a hotel room with a Miss Hermaphrodite 1999 sash around me?"

2) "Good Lord, what did I eat last night that could cause a smell that bad?"