10) You've ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.

9) People at work only refer to you by saying "HEY FATASS".

8) You've thrown your back out by carrying a bag of groceries.

7) Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.

6) You've ever suffered a groin pull...during sex.

5) Your record is 34 Pushups and you could have done more if the damn Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic.

4) You get the Christmas gift of Jigglin' To The Oldies.

3) You cramp up while watching the New York City Marathon.

2) Watching Rocky 5 is your idea of a workout video.