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Writer's note: That Flatly guy from Riverdance, the tape you'd see on TV every 15 damn minutes decided that he had made enough money recently and decided to retire. How does a dancing machine like that ease into retirement...by taking a new job!

10) Lead dancer on Richard Simmon's new tape, "Tapping Your Fat Ass To The Oldies."

9) Stunt double during Toy Store Piano Sequence in BIG 2: FRIGGIN' HUGE!!! Coming to a theatre this Fall!

8) Uses leg strength to bring Indian Leg Wrestling into the Mainstream.

7) Exterminator of the Month for his non-toxic (stomping) method of ridding New York of their cockroaches.

6) Guest Tapper at all Fraternity Keg Parties.

5) Kicking ass in most 12 and under Hopscotch tournaments.

4) Moves South to become Lord Of The Line Dance.

3) New White Guy Dancer on Upcoming Janet Jackson tour.

2) The Best Damn Carhop Sonic has ever hired!