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10) Your lift tickets are actually tattooed on you.

9) Grizzlies regularly attack the lodge during feeding frenzies.

8) Your ski lift is one burly guy named Duke.

7) There's a lot of memorial crosses to ski around.

6) You're given a parachute with your skis.

5) The ski bunnies have as much hair on their face as real rabbits do on their body.

4) The only celebrity you've seen in the lodge is Billy Ocean and he's constantly stinking drunk!!!

3) The ski jump is over several abandoned snowmobiles.

2) You arrive just as the dedicate the Kennedy and Bono memorial trees.