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Writer's note: For those who don't know, Yankee Stadium started to fall apart last week. A 500lb construction beam fell and destroyed several seats and one, hard working, get to the job early Coors Light Beerman named Merle. He will be missed....

10) "Well, that's unique. Usually Yankee fans throw Jim Beam instead of a Construction Beam."

9) "Where's Costanza!!! I bet he had something to do with this!"

8) "That's the last time we let Irabu work on the stadium as part of his rehab."

7) "No one and I repeat no one will ever ask WHAT DOES THIS SWITCH DO AND ACT ON IT!! UNDERSTOOD???"

6) "See what happens when 26 overweight ballpark frank vendors do the Macarena all at once?"

5) "Upon closer inspection, I would recommend something stronger than Cotton Candy to hold up the beams next time."

4) "OK, maybe that wasn't the best spot to bury the Godfather...let's dump him in the river!"

3) "That beam made better contact with something this year than Darryl Strawberry!"

2) "Beam Me Down, Scotty!"