10) Your men's jogging group is called Dexy's Midnight Runners.

9) Most people call them Cops; You call them Der Kommissar.

8) You were genuinely saddened by the loss of Falco earlier this year.

7) You have spent part of an evening wondering whatever happened to the Mary Jane Girls.

6) You go to your favorite bar and order a Funky Cold Medina.

5) You dream of a comeback tour involving Winger, Poison, Skid Row and Whitesnake.

4) You still get an erection everytime you hear the words "Debbie Gibson."

3) Even though Paula Cole refuses to shave her pits, you believe that Joan Jett could still whip her ass.

2) You catch a sexually transmitted disease that gives you burning sensation when you pee and you immediately name it "St. Elmo's Fire."