10) While your child is on his lap, he tells them they're not getting his Bud Light.

9) He asks Mommy to come sit on Santa's other lap.

8) You see his sleigh pulled over and the police with a breathlyzer.

7) Those darn milk and cookies never worked but the Jack Daniels does!

6) You don't remember getting a request for venison in your stocking.

5) Betty Ford releases him on December 24th.

4) After each child, he has a Jello Shot.

3) This year the sleigh is being pulled by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.

2) He jumps down a manhole and then gets pissed when he can't find the tree.