The Top 10 Things To Do On A Small Town Saturday Night

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10) Make sure the still is safe from those pesky ATF agents.

9) Whittle

8) Shoot the jukebox for playing a sad song.

7) Cruise the dirt road

6) Go to the local McDonalds drive thru and ask them to "supersize my pants."

5) Watch "Masterpiece Theatre" and then go to bed, saying your prayers and including that job transfer request one more time.

4) Red Man Eating Contest.

3) Cruise the roads, looking to play Mailbox baseball until you find one that has a lead pipe in its base...then....

2) Drive 80 miles to the nearest hospital to get both of your broken arms examined.

1) Teach your dog to fetch...your nearest female cousin.

Thanks to BPatt

Submitted: Sun Nov 9 16:56:22 1997