The Top 10 Incentives Banks Are Offering For You to Open An Account With Them

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10) You get your own drive-thru lane.

9) You get to lock your in-laws in the sealed vault over the weekend that they visit.

8) Your checks are styled: DOUG, THE FINANCIAL ICON

7) You have a key to everybody's lock box

6) The name outside now reads: NATIONSBANK..NOW FEATURING BOB!!!

5) When you send your tube to the teller in the drive thru, you get to yell "Torpedoes Away" every single time.

4) One free toaster and a weekend with Pamela Anderson

3) You can push that wimpy "Next Teller Please" sign right off of the counter.

2) One free robbery with each account opened.

1) Topless tellers will bounce as they count your cash back!!!

Thanks to BPatt

Submitted: Thu Nov 6 22:56:20 1997