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Welcome to 
The Slower Traffic Keep Right
Campaign Headquarters!

Slower Traffic Keep Right Damnit!
Are you the type of person who wants to get where you're going...

while you're still young enough to remember how to get there? 

Slower Traffic Keep Right Damnit!

Q: Are you forever being annoyed by somebody who thinks the left hand lane is where you're supposed to drive if your R.V. can only pull that boat, and Yugo at 40mph?

Q: Are you constantly getting stuck behind some old white cap who should be hauling ass, trying to get there before they die? 

Q: Have you ever suspected that the people driving those early 70's smoke barges are all part of some elaborate group of individuals, compiled from government housing complexes, who meet every Tuesday to map out exactly who's going where, so that they can line up across the interstate, covering every possible lane and all drive side by side at 45mph? Maybe you've noticed the sly smiles they exchange as you bounce back and forth, waiting for a slot just half the size of your car, that you can dart through to get past them? 

If you've answered yes to any of the above questions, you should join:
The Slower Traffic Keep Right Campaign!

It is our intention to create some workable solution to resolve this national problem. Our first thought was to make the general population aware of the problem. This has so far, failed miserably. First, we had the Department of Public Safety publish this noble idea in all the driving manuals. It came to our attention that not only were people not reading the manuals, but that they were also driving without licenses, and even the ones with a license, were never tested on this important material to obtain said license. 

keep right!!!Then, we set out to further promote public awareness by posting signs all over the country on the sides of interstates that say "Slower Traffic Keep Right." Maybe you've seen some of them in your area? This too, however, has enjoyed only minimal success in the big picture. 

Then there are
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those who believe that since they are traveling at exactly the posted speed limit, that it's okay for them to hog the left hand lane, and that nobody else has the RIGHT to pass them! These people are the most annoying, because they add a degree of snobbery to their ignorance. These people obviously can't comprehend something as simple as "slower traffic keep right" because they believe they are above such rules, as they were obviously made for "the common drivers" and not for the "elite" class of "vehicle operators" that they were born into when their daddy bought them their first Jaguar at sixteen. We say they are the "elite" alright... they are the elite of the ignorant, and probably need for us to make them a training aid, and draw them a picture

Get outta the way! Another common misconception is that this only applies to interstate traffic. IT APPLIES TO ANYWHERE THERE IS MORE THAN ONE LANE!!! And judging from this sign (Right) there are some places where people don't even have to wait for a two lane road to pass! 

Believe it or not, there are people who not only don't know this, but they also don't use the turn lanes, and get mad when you flash your lights, and bump ever so lightly into their rear bumpers, to gently nudge them into awareness of your intentions to pass. 

It is for this reason that we are still searching for a practicle solution to this dilema. One thought that has been voiced, is that each driver, with their license, is issued a paintball gun. Then, in the advent that they are stuck behind an inconsiderate driver, they simply shoot the back of the offenders vehicle with a paintball. Then, when the police see a vehicle with at least three different paint splotches on it, they cite the driver, suspend his/her license (assuming they actually have one) and tow their car. 

We believe that this could help to decrease the problem in a short time, and at the same time, assist the police in locating drivers who are not intelligent enough to operate a two ton deadly weapon without direct supervision. 

In any event, we need your support to further the cause! We have to all stick together, and spread the word, to better educate the masses. How you can help, you ask? Simply post one of our graphics onto your webpage, and link it back to here. Then go to our "supporters" page, and add your link to our site, so that others can follow your example! Together, we CAN make a difference! 

Thanks for your support!

  • Choose a graphic to put on your site
  • See the list of our offical Supporters! (add your site while you're there!)
  • Add/Read comments about how we can solve this problem!


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